Monday, 26 February 2007

Rededicated to the Lord...

The following refers to my recent weekend away with 23 other home-educated Christians in their Teens and Twenties.

What did i get out of the weekend? How has it affected my life, my feelings, and my walk with God?

I felt that the series of talks we heard this weekend were benficial for me personally on many levels. Specifically, a talk on how the Lord Jesus grew in wisdom, stature and favour with both God and man. It encourages me a great deal, as after an awful year last year (for a number of reasons i won't bore you with), i was feeling quite helpless and hopeless in my walk with God. The weekend helped me to realise what mistakes i have been making, in that i was trying to become more Godly in my own strength rather than relying on God and His grace to help me.
I also came away from the weekend with a deeper understanding of what it means to trust God wholly and completely, rather than worrying about what the future holds. Mr. Harding said something that struck me, God has already written the end of our story, and it has a happy ending. Whatever things we think may affect our future happiness, God has them all under control and things will work out for the best. We may not know what our "happy ending" is yet, but we must wait carefully and cautiously for God to reveal His will to us through studying Scripture and fervent prayer, and in the meantime, get on with what God has for us now, in the situation we are in, whatever it may be, and take our lot without complaining but glorifying our Lord in everything we do
I also realised (although i knew this to some level anyway!) that i cannot in any way, shape or form, trust any of my feelings. I need to lean on God completely.
I have given my body as a living sacrifice to the Almighty God, to use in whichever way pleases Him, to use in whichever way i will be most useful to Him. I am a shapeless lump of clay, ready to be molded and shaped by the Potter's hands. I am a sheep, ready to follow my Shepherd where ever he will lead me until he calls me Home.
I pray daily that i will be useful to God and that He will help me to develope the qualities i need to fill the role that He has for me. I pray that He will help me to deny myself, take up His cross and follow Him with my whole heart.

There are other people out there in the same situation as me, i am not alone. I have so many blessings in my life, i may be isolated but there are people who are more isolated, and it's for a divine reason that i may or may not come to find out in years to come.

I have struggled, i feel more on fire for God than i have ever done and i am striving towards a prize worth far more than anything here on earth. I will write more later... I am at my auntie's and i have alot to talk about... I'm overflowing with joy and zeal after the weekend and i want to share it with everyone!

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